![\"\"](\"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/qkxn1nwmkp3.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Of all the questions asked of me as a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, this is one of the most common: Why\u00a0hasnt he called? Im going crazy! What do I do? (The what do I do is not always specifically asked, but its always implied.)<\/p>\n
Just in the last week Ive received two specific questions about this from visitors to my website. Here are the emails and my responses.<\/p>\n
Hi Bobbi. I will be 40 in five months and since I married at a very young age, I have no dating experience outside of my recent challenging\u2014and believe me, they were challenging! I\u2019ve met the guy who is just looking for a booty call; I\u2019ve met the guy who likes to hear himself talk and is creepier and freakier at every next meeting; and now I\u2019ve finally met the one who seems to be sensitive, knows what hes looking for (as I do), we have a lot in common and enough differences, but I don\u2019t know what\u2019s next! <\/em><\/p>\n We\u2019ve spoken on the phone for over three weeks and just went on our first date two days ago. When we parted ways, it seemed that he was indicating that he would like to see me again, and I indicated the same in a text that I sent later to let him know that I enjoyed our time together and looked forward to seeing him again soon. I read all about the types of women that you addressed on your website. I am none of those women. I am confident, independent, successful and know what I want. However, not knowing what\u2019s next is driving me crazy!!!!\u00a0 ~~Brandi<\/em><\/p>\n Hi Brandi,<\/p>\n Glad you wrote! I know\u2026it\u2019s what we women have to endure. Somehow our brains just weren\u2019t made to do well with broken links (aka the unknown). Add emotion\u2026then add the independent and successful woman\u2019s need to control to the mix and\u2026well, you\u2019re living what happens.<\/p>\n Heres the thing: what you do next is NOTHING. You\u2019ve done what you can. You were your best self on the date and let him know you were interested. Its now out of your control. Yes\u2026Out of Your Control!<\/em><\/p>\n So next\u2026just live your life. Sounds like you have a really nice life and you dig yourself\u2026excellent! Keep doing that and being that<\/em> woman, and I promise that the right man will come. And remember, if this guy is who you think he is and he doesn\u2019t come back, it\u2019s probably because he knows something about himself that makes him a bad match for you. That, too, is excellent.<\/p>\n As a minor tip: when you follow up with your appreciation and interest \u2013 which was great to do \u2014 nix the \u201csoon\u201d part. Just let him know you had a nice time and exert no pressure or expectation. I\u2019m sure you can see the difference. You\u2019re doing great!<\/p>\n Here is another email I received on this same topic:<\/p>\n Hello, I have\u00a0a question and hope you can help me. I met a really nice guy last Sunday. We talked and he wanted me to go over his place (I know he was testing the water), so I told him NO that I didnt even know him. He asked me for my number and kissed me. I suggested we could go for coffee or a drink later if he wanted to see me. He texted me an hour later saying it was nice to meet me and he was looking forward to seeing me later that night. I texted back saying it was nice and to call me to make plans. 9 pm comes around and he calls me. He says he is working late and can see me later. I tell him sorry but it was too late for a Sunday night but I could make it another time. He called an hour later and we talked. He seemed interested and said if he could invite me for dinner during the week instead. I dont plan on calling him, but how long before I wait for his invite before I forget about him?\u00a0 ~~Naty<\/em><\/p>\n Hi Naty,<\/p>\n Consider it forgotten\u2026right now. This is a major mistake we all make. And I mean ALL, as I did it literally hundreds of times! We meet a guy for a second, pin our hopes on him, talk ourselves into a tizzy\u2026and all the while he\u2019s doing what he\u2019s going to do. We have no control over it whatsoever. And hes only One Man! There are thousands and thousands more.<\/p>\n So\u2026just live your life!<\/p>\n Hope is a wonderful thing, but make it an overall hope and belief that you will find a fantastic, loving partner\u2212not a hope for every guy you meet who shows any interest. When he\u2019s in front of you (after you get to know him), you will know it. This guy\u2026he\u2019s a blip in your life, so far. Keep it that way. Keep walking around smiling, stay online, or do whatever you\u2019re doing to meet more men.<\/p>\n If he calls and asks you out like a gentleman, then great! He does seem somewhat interested, and he very well may. But there\u2019s as much a chance that he won\u2019t.<\/p>\n SO WHAT! This is important: you\u00a0don\u2019t know him at all. Thats the truth. Don\u2019t talk yourself into giving him more space in your life than he deserves. He\u2019s a stranger. You had a nice time with him once. Thats it.<\/p>\n Make sense? And if you haven\u2019t already, you may want to read my eBook, 7 Secrets to Finding Love after 40. I think you\u2019ll get a lot out of it, including where to place yourself and your value when it comes to men.<\/p>\n Sowhat do YOU think? Does this ever happen to you? What do you do when he doesnt call?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why Hasnt He Called? Im Going Crazy! Of all the questions asked of me as a dating and relationship..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":795,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[31],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=676"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":898,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676\/revisions\/898"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/demo3.aiwalls.com\/influence\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n